Ever have fears about whether the person you are with is the one for you? Chances are, you should go with your gut instead of whatever is going on inside of your head. How do you know for sure that you are marrying the right person? Sometimes even your heart can lead you astray. Are you pregnant and want to keep your family together? It’s not about what you want. Are your parents telling or pressuring you to get married? They might mean well, but this is your life, not theirs. Have you asked God? Only he knows!
I absolutely love sharing my testimony with others! Anyway that God can use me to be a blessing to someone in their time of need. When I was 20, I was in the world with both feet. I was never the kind of person that had one foot in the church and the other in the world. I have always believed in giving God my all or my nothing. At the time, my oldest (now 13) was almost a 1-year-old and I was living in NY with my father. Then, the internet was a pretty cool place to meet people. I met my ex-husband there, moved back to NJ to my mom’s house to be closer, and we eventually got married. Doesn’t sound like a bad story right? Well, now he is my ex-husband, I had to endure hurt and pain in the relationship, and I was so lost. I had absolutely no idea who I was before or during the relationship. I only knew what I wanted, marriage and a family. Here I was thinking I knew what I was doing when I had no clue. I was blinded. Had God forsaken me? Absolutely not! I just chose not to listen.
Prior to my wedding, I would pray and ask God if I was marrying the right person. What is the point of asking God for things if we are just going to constantly ignore him? I know that I can be very hard-headed. I continuously asked God to show me signs that I was doing the wrong thing by marrying this man. Shortly after, my ex-husband started lashing out and all of a sudden I saw traits in him that deep down I knew I didn’t want in a husband. He had really bad anger issues and even when he punched and broke my car windshield, I stayed. Not because I loved him but because this is what I wanted, a husband and father for my child. After all, what really good man is going to want a woman with a baby already? What a way to think! I had so many insecurities back then and I didn’t even think that I was worth more than that. So I settled. Anyways, there was God, giving me all the signs I needed to turn, run for the hills, and not marry this man. Instead, I did the exact opposite and married him anyway. Know your worth and never settle!
Now that I am married to the person that God had for me in the first place, my wonderful husband Shaun, I am full of joy! Although I didn’t listen to God the first time around, I am grateful for all the hurt that I went through. Had I not gone through those times, I probably wouldn’t cherish my loving husband the way that I do.
How do I know I am marrying the right person?
1. Ask God! He will make it very clear for you. Ask for signs! He will show you. Don’t ignore him because you think you are in love or in lust (avoid being in lust altogether by waiting until marriage to have sex).
2. Believe him. When someone shows you who they are, believe them! True colors will eventually show if you spend enough time with someone. It doesn’t take long! Just make sure you are always being observant.
3. Trust yourself. If your head, heart, and gut aren’t all telling you to marry that person, then you probably shouldn’t
4. Don’t listen to anyone else. People will always have something to say. Some will be too excited that they have a wedding to help plan or attend. They will tell you anything you want to hear to keep the wedding going. But what happens after the wedding is over? What happens when it is just you and your spouse? Reality happens and everything goes back to normal. Always remember, it’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage.
5. Know yourself. Know what you want. There were certain traits that I needed in a husband that were non-negotiable. He had to be a God-fearing, church-going, handsome, loving (love my children), kind, understanding (because I can be weird sometimes), sensitive (because I am sensitive and I needed him to understand that part of me) and have similar interests. If you are still waiting for your husband or wife, I strongly suggest that you make your list and do not deter from it. Just please, keep it realistic, that way you can accept the one that God has for you when he sends them. It would really stink if you turned away the one God sent because they couldn’t cook a five-course meal. All of that, to only be reunited with them years later and end up marrying them anyway.
6. Put God first! This one needed to go last because it is the most important. God is a jealous God and wants all of you! If you can’t give him all of you, how can you give yourself to another? God has to be the one to show you how to love your spouse. If you aren’t relying on God then how will your marriage be successful? He is the tie that will bind the two of you and sustain your marriage. It wasn’t until I rededicated my life to Christ and worshipped him wholeheartedly, that he sent me Shaun. Not a minute before!
I hope this helps! Thanks for reading!
How did you know you were marrying the right or wrong person?
Until next time…..Lady Ki