Sex? When? I Just Had a Baby


This might be a touchy subject for some couples and that’s okay, I am still going to write about it. Having a newborn in the house that always requires our attention is exhausting. Motherhood is exhausting, but we got this! Let’s just try to remember that our children are not the only ones that require our attention. Our husbands do too! So let’s just jump right in!

Newborns should definitely bring some spontaneity to your marriage. So, if you aren’t already spontaneous, now is the best time to be. Meaning, if the both of you are home and the baby has gone down for a nap, there is your opportunity. STOP EVERYTHING you are doing and *minister* (wink wink) to your husband! Usually, when the baby naps you may either want to nap or do every household chore that you missed. Don’t do any of that! After you make love to your husband, feel free to do whatever you want. You could even be in the middle of dinner! Turn off those flames, STOP EVERYTHING, and *minister* to your husband.

Now, experts say that you should wait 6-8 weeks postpartum before you have intercourse. I will never tell you not to listen to your doctor or midwife. If you do follow the rules make sure that you don’t forget your husband’s needs. He can wait however long you need him to, but it will be a painful journey for him. For the rule breakers, as long as your bleeding has stopped and lochia has cleared, you should be all healed up. For some women, that can be anywhere between 2-4 weeks after giving birth. If you haven’t healed completely, feel sore, or just uncomfortable doing it too soon, that’s ok too! Again, keep in mind that your husband needs you and is anxiously awaiting for your candy shop to open. He will need a release so I encourage you to help him out a bit. Your candy shop may be closed but hopefully, you still have full use of your mouth and hand *wink wink*. Take advantage of that until you are ready for intercourse. DO NOT just tell yourself that he will be ok. He probably won’t be!

Husbands, think about your wives as well. Think about the 9 months she carried your child, the hours or days she spent in labor, and all the pain she endured. The pain doesn’t end when the baby is here. Some women are sore for months after delivering. So please, try to be as understanding as possible.

To all my co-sleepers, if you find that you can’t get it on because there is an infant in your bed you can….
1. Get the infant out of your bed or…
2. Keep the baby right there and meet your husband at the end of the bed! Don’t worry about waking the baby. Chances are the rocking will be soothing just like it was in the womb.

Do you have any tips? I would love to hear them in the comments below! Thanks for reading!

Until next time….Lady Ki



  • Reply Danielle November 5, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    I love how honest you are about sex! I was definitely a rule breaker and I think I wanted it more than my husband! Haha. It’s much more intimate without a huge baby belly in the way!

    • Reply Nakia November 7, 2015 at 5:45 pm

      Hahaha! That is awesome! I was definitely a rule breaker as well. Thank you for always reading and commenting!!!

    Leave a Reply