Pushing Through the Pain

Being the daughter of a pastor isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. People have always expected so much from me. The majority of my teenage years, all I did was try to get closer to God. Then there was a shift in my life, and I became rebellious. When I was 18, something happened to someone very close to me in church. From that point on, I thought that I should take a break from church. That is when I started making all the wrong decisions! I started dating a drug dealer and quickly became pregnant. I knew that I didn’t want that lifestyle for my child, so I left that boyfriend alone (he didn’t want a baby anyway). When my son was about a year, I started dating my ex-husband. Have you ever felt like you just didn’t want to be alone? That’s how I felt, I was so lonely, and I just wanted to be married. So we got married, had a baby, and the marriage only lasted about two years. When we separated, I felt so much pain! I was a failure that kept letting my family down knowing we had an image to uphold. I was a single mother, working a decent job and taking care of my babies alone (with the support of my parents of course). I felt so empty and was in a state of depression. Finally, I decided that enough was enough, went back to church consistently, and gave my life back over to God. Being human, we always tend to make promises to God. The question is…..are the promises we make realistic? Only he knows if we really plan on keeping them.

“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say on the Lord.” Psalms 27:14

As soon as I put God first in my life again, my situation changed almost immediately! The blessings came from everywhere! I was blessed with a nice apartment. Then God sent me my wonderful husband! It’s funny how God works, I met my husband in high school and I really just wanted to be his friend. It’s funny how God works! Everything is done in his time, not our own. I knew he was interested in me at that time, but I had no clue how much until we reconnected. Now we are happily married with three children! He didn’t even hesitate to make my children our children! Every day I thank God for keeping my mind and heart and allowing me to love my husband unconditionally. All I did was wait on the Lord. Sometimes we want to do things in our own time and that’s where we run into these crazy situations. God may not move when you want him to, but he is always on time! We make time for relationships with everyone else, what about God? Is there something in your life that you desire? If it is God’s will then you shall have whatever it is (when he says so). I pushed through the pain, can you?

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4

2 Comments

  • Reply Danielle October 23, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    Hi! I was the same way except I wasn’t a pastor’pastor’s daughter. I started doing drugs, my life was a mess, got married quickly and had babies and we hit rok bottom in our marriage. I didn’t have anything to do but give myself back to God and it is amazing how my life has turned around! God is so amazing!

    • Reply Nakia October 25, 2015 at 7:11 pm

      Wow Danielle! Isn’t amazing what God will do for us if we just surrender and give our lives over to him? He is a healer, restorer, and a keeper! He keeps us when we are down, heals our hearts and relationships, and makes us new! All because he loves us! So it is our duty to give our testimonies about where God has brought us from. God bless! Thank you for reading!

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