A couple of weeks ago, I thought that I was going to lose it. For a brief moment, I was able to just sit back and see the chaos in my life through a different lens. The van was full of noise and I’m not talking about laughter and talking. In fact, it was the exact opposite and boy was it intense. Instead of all of the delightful sounds, I heard teasing, arguing, screaming, and crying. I immediately began to sob. As soon as Xavier, my oldest, saw what was happening he got everyone quiet and settled. I knew right away that he understood and I also knew that I needed some much needed time alone.
Recently, after almost four years, I realized that I was wearing every hat known to moms except for my own. I have been so focused on being a better wife and mom and not focused enough on being a better ME. Just like with anything else you need balance. So I made the decision to go and get a manicure twice a month and a pedicure as needed (MAYBE once a month). After my second trip to the salon, I started to feel bad that I wasn’t taking Arianna (one of my daughters) with me. She’s a super girlie girl and loves every part of the salon experience. But if I took her, I would be back to square one again. No alone time for momma! So, for now, I just have to politely tell her no.
I now know that getting my nails done isn’t enough alone time. It is only an hour away from everyone and if that was enough I wouldn’t have had that sob session in the van a couple of weeks ago. Shaun and I agreed that I need to take some time for myself regardless of what he is doing. So that is exactly what I am going to do from here on out.
To the extremely selfless moms and/or wives that tend to forget about themselves:
Self-care is extremely important. Don’t lose yourself being a wife and/or mom. Think about some things that you can do to take better care of yourself (I will be doing another post on that). You have been selfless all of this time which means that you will continue to be. So go ahead and give yourself a specific day and time to be a little selfish. Your family will not doubt your love for them if you take some time for yourself. Trust me, if you love on yourself just a little more, you will be able to give a little more love to everyone else. If you don’t take care of yourself you begin to feel overwhelmed, tired, impatient and you might even start to see things from a negative perspective. I’m am pretty sure that isn’t what you want.
Don’t know where to start? I started with creating simple daily morning and evening routines. They help give me the time I need to pray, read, and get some work done before the kids get up in the morning. Then I gradually added getting my nails done and buying a couple of things for myself here and there (which is something I NEVER do). Start small if you have to. That is exactly what I did!
Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed? What do you do when you reach that point and realize that you need some time alone?
“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give your rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” ~Matthew 11 28-30
Thanks for reading! Until next time……